09 February 2009

An Apple A Day

In the year 2015 everything will start with i. So it is written -and so it shall be done. Just wait and see.

You'll be awakened by your iAlarm while sleeping comfortably in your iBed (perhaps by the voice of Steve Jobs saying, wake up, its time to start a new iDay.) At which point you will grudgingly get up and trudge into your iShower. In the meantime, your iCoffeemaker, in white, of course, unless you bought the iCoffemaker Pro, in which case it will be aluminum...brews your favorite cup of fair trade iCoffee, which is now available from the Apple store.

After putting on your iClothes, which inevitably will become outdated in twelve months and need to be purchased anew, you walk into the kitchen and peruse the contents of your shiny new iRefrigerator. Unfortunately, it doesn't hold much iFood from the iStore, because while having the same footprint as a regular fridge -it's only 0.76 inches thick. Uh-oh!

Although, you then remember that the cool thing about your fridge is that, even though it costs thousands of dollars and yet contains next to nothing. . .Ta-Dah! It will fit neatly into an inter-office mail envelope- well, a really big one anyway. Handy, as everyone carries around their refrigerator in an inter-office mail envelope; or now wants to, thanks to Apple.

Whew! Thank goodness too. For a moment there I was worried that I had burst your iBubble.

After breakfast you will hit the freeway in your fancy new iCar. Unlike a regular car, it requires no keys, and has no physical locks, levers, or door handles. Everything works by touch. The bad news is that should you attempt to modify your new iRide in any way- for example with a plain ol' window sticker or something harmless like that; your iWarranty, well it's out the iWindow. Not to worry though, because the local iStore sells plenty of accessories for iCars so that you can customize yours to most likely still be the same as everyone else's.

Hey don't feel bad. Remember? This is the year 2015, and everyone is in love with i. A perfect society created by Steve Jobs. In fact, every night people will gather in their homes and congregate around little shrines dedicated to Jobs and Apple. . .oh wait, actually those are just the docking stations for all of their little iGadgets.

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